Sunday, May 8, 2011
Today is Mother's day...and I miss my mother. I don't talk about it a lot because it would merely upset everyone around me but I really miss her. So its been a very sad day for me. Its actually been a rough period for me here in my life, mostly because of the constant pain I live in from the migraine disorder...I don't know what else to try. Some days, I feel like I cant take any more pain. I also feel kind of uprooted from my religion because I haven't been able to do the ceremonies in the way I used to do them...mostly because of space issues and I think that has made me feel very imbalanced. In some ways, I feel like I am become a great deal darker in my outlook towards life and the universe now...and I feel adrift without anything to anchor me. The worst part of it is that I have no one I can talk to about these things. I am always surrounded by people but none of them could relate to any of this or worse, it would make them feel bad or hurt in some way. I don't know what to do. Something needs to give though, I cant keep dealing with all of it inwardly.