some better

Things are some better...although, the migraine pain comes and goes...one of the things that makes it so unbearable is the attitude people give you with it. Like it makes you weak or something just because you have a condition that is beyond your control. awful. Anyway, I feel some better and am taking it one day at time. Im going to talk to my dr about options and see what he says.
Thank you to everyone who has expressed love and concern towards me...I really appreciate it. I am still trying to learn to navigate around blogger.com. Some of it confuses me lol
Blessings
Alex )O(

Uprooted

Today is Mother's day...and I miss my mother. I don't talk about it a lot because it would merely upset everyone around me but I really miss her. So its been a very sad day for me. Its actually been a rough period for me here in my life, mostly because of the constant pain I live in from the migraine disorder...I don't know what else to try. Some days, I feel like I cant take any more pain. I also feel kind of uprooted from my religion because I haven't been able to do the ceremonies in the way I used to do them...mostly because of space issues and I think that has made me feel very imbalanced. In some ways, I feel like I am become a great deal darker in my outlook towards life and the universe now...and I feel adrift without anything to anchor me. The worst part of it is that I have no one I can talk to about these things. I am always surrounded by people but none of them could relate to any of this or worse, it would make them feel bad or hurt in some way. I don't know what to do. Something needs to give though, I cant keep dealing with all of it inwardly.

I am so tired of living in almost constant pain...even more I am SO tired of being sorry to everyone for being in pain. Its all too much sometimes...and there is no one who understands. There is no cure for migraine disorder. I have to figure out how to deal with all of it.

Moving and Saying Goodbye to Summer

I am off tomorrow, and its my last chance to get the last things in boxes and ready for the final part of our move. We are all very excited about it...Bu keeps playing in the empty boxes hahaha. She has created a game, where she will hop into the box and then yowl if we aren't in the room...and then she pops out when we come running and attacks our legs lol. I can tell it thrills her when she surprises us lol.
Its never easy for me, to see the end of Summer...I dislike being cold a lot, so Summer is my favorite season. As Samhain approaches, I am focused on my loved ones who are in Spirit now...and I sense their presence in my life and in my heart. Its comforting, to know that we are still connected. We will be moving most of Friday and Saturday, so after we are done with moving our stuff, I will turn toward my Samhain ceremony and get prepared for our bonfire that we are having with Kit's parents this year...which will be awesome. I took some vacation time, so I will be off for the first week of November...to settle in and get things somewhat together. Hopefully I will also be able to post some new videos from the new place, which will be exciting. I have lots of ideas that are taking form. We are also reworking our budget, so hopefully we will both be able to save some money for the future...and focus on future goals in the coming year.
Kit carved a jack-o-lantern, even though its early lol we both get so excited about Samhain...its the most wonderful time of the year.
Blessings to all,
Alex )O(

Its October

I always get excited when it gets this close to Samhain...its one of our favorite holidays of the year. Its also exciting this year because we are moving to a new space...I keep talking to Bu and telling her about it so that she won't be afraid when it happens.
I had to miss work yesterday because of the migraine ugh. It was there when I woke up and just got worse and worse til I started puking. At that point, I couldn't see anything very well because of the visuals. It faded a bit after I slept, but it lingered all day long right til I went to bed. I feel a bit better today, so I will go in for my shift, but I still feel crappy from it.
One of the things I am currently working on is a revision of my BOS, just reworking some of the layout and some of the ceremonies...updating my correspondences etc. I am re-realizing how much I wish I was able to talk about things with people in my life...perhaps that's why people join covens, at least partially, so they don't become isolated with it all. It can be very lonely in many many ways.
Anyway, I hope October turns into a wonderful month and I hope this move goes well...I feel like it will :-)
Blessings,
Alex

Update

Today, my tarot card was the Sun, which was nice since I am just getting over a cold ugh. I think it meant that today would be a day when I continue to heal from it. I had to work today, which wasnt exactley healing, but I could tell I was beginning to feel better...thankfully.
I am off tomorrow, and I plan on spending the day with Bu. Kit has to work for part of the day, but then he will be with us tomorrow evening. Its been over a week since we had a day off together. He works in retail as well...so our schedules are always changing. I mostly do closing shifts now, which has really helped me. Its much better than being jerked around, opening then closing, then a mid shift, then back to opening. Our manager there is amazing.
We are excited that Autumn is coming...even though, Summer is my favorite season...I still love the Autumn as well.
Hopefully I will be blogging here more now...things were so busy for us this summer. Its like they never slow down for a minute and there is never enough time to do everything I want to do.
Blessings,
Alex )O(

Updates

We have been having lots of snow, which is typical of February, and it triggered a migraine which lasted off and on for over a week ugh. I had to use two sick days with work this month, but at least I had a dr on my side that I could turn to. This is the first month that I have been following the holistic and homeopathic routine that we came up with together...but February is usually a difficult month for me as far as migraines go. The migraine finally went away but now Kit and me both have colds. I am hoping I am at the end of mine. We are spending today together (the first day we have had off together in quite a while) and Kit went to the Library to get some movies for us.
Lots of changes are happening too...I am transferring to a new location with my job. Its the same company, but just a different store...change like that always makes me somewhat nervous, but I am hopeful that this change will be wonderful. Im very excited.
We just had a full moon too, which was exciting...I love the Esbats. I just wish I had felt better during this one so I could have celebrated it more fully.
Blessed Be,
Alex )O(